IMPEACH BUSH

I once thought George Bush's core constituency was unbreakable. I thought that the 30 percent of Americans who prop Bush up would remain loyal no matter what. Over the past few years I wrote any number of comments online, arguing that "George Bush could kick his wife into the middle of the street and slit her throat on live television and he'd still have that 30 percent, who would quickly find some way to blame Laura's murder on Bubba Bill Clinton."

As I write this today, it looks as if I may have been wrong. Little George last week stepped into a Texas-sized pile of cow stuffing when he signed on to ramrod the congressional immigration reform drive. Not only did Bush get stinky brown poo all over his pearl-handled rodeo boots but our cowboy president's decision to ride shotgun for the proposed immigration bill enraged his erstwhile supporters, who now shoot rhetorical holes in Little George's big white Stetson hat. And that's not all, Pard: whenever the pistoleros stop to reload, they threaten George and his pals at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with vigilante justice.

The ruckus started when, speaking in support of the immigration reform package favored by Congress (and reviled by everyone else), Bush said those who oppose the legislation are people who just "don't want to do what's right for America." Other GOP tub thumpers agreed: Lindsay Graham added: "We're gonna tell the bigots to shut up." Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff said those who oppose the measure are people who'd like to see illegal immigrants killed. Another Bush spokesman implied that opponents of the measure are psychotic, saying that they suffer from "rage" and "national chauvinism".

What Little George and his gang in their enthusiasm forgot to remember is that crazy, unpatriotic bigots who form the hard core of Bush's support network don't like being called crazy, unpatriotic bigots. And so, you see, it wasn't long before Right-wing media were all ablaze with comments from crazy, unpatriotic bigots who fancy themselves principled conservatives:

• "I am tired of Washington elites calling me a racist bigot because I believe in the rule of law, fairness and protecting our national identity." – Wes Allen, Troy, AL, to the editor of the Montgomery Advertiser, June 3.
• "George Bush .... will be remembered as the president who discarded American sovereignty, rule of law, language, and culture in exchange for cheap lettuce and fruit." – John Lillpop, who bills himself 'a recovering liberal,' June 3.
• "Those who endorse a vigorous immigration crackdown are upholding a sound conservative idea ... namely, the rule of law." – columnist Steve Chapman, Chicago Tribune, June 3.
• "It's a great national concern about observing the rule of law." – Sen. Arlen Specter, in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, June 3.
• "It's about the rule of law, our national security, the American culture, the English language, national unity during time of war, the constitutional rights of American citizens and the fiscal concerns of American taxpayers and their descendants." – columnist David Limbaugh, May 22.
• "Over those years, it has not been uncommon for conservative thinkers ... to disagree.... But never before has a dispute degenerated into a street fight. We're seeing one now." – editor, Arizona Republic, June 3.

In the Wall Street Journal on Friday, June 1, columnist Peggy Noonan – arguably the most sacred cow in the whole Republican herd – called George W. Bush a fool and a wastrel. Noonan chased the accusations by urging conservatives to dump the Bush administration because, she claims, the Bush administration has already dumped them: "This will require courage, serious thinking and an ability to do what psychologists used to call letting go," Noonan concluded. "This will be painful, but it's time. It's more than time."

Them's what they call fightin' words in Texas, folks. Them's the kind o' words a person caint take back nohow – not even in politics. The next few days and weeks may be interesting as we see how the GOP reacts to such pressure at this moment in history. If crazy, unpatriotic bigots have their way, Noonan's words may be followed by a giant sucking sound as Republicans run away from the Bush administration like it was an anthrax plague. If party hacks have their way, we may hear a giant rumbling sound as Republicans circle their wagons around George W. Bush.

Of course Money will be the deciding factor, and what Money will do only time can tell. Neither the crazies nor the hacks will walk away from Money, no matter how many conservative principles the pols dig up, dust off, and wave around while they pee their collective pants and moan words like "party loyalty" or "do what's best for the country." If Money finally deserts George W. Bush, then he and his administration are headed for the last roundup. The only question that will then remain is: Will Money, having deserted Bush, move in with the crazies or stay shacked up with the hacks, or will Money try to hold the coalition together by hooking up with both factions at the same time?

Whatever the denouement may turn out to be, at this moment it has epic potential: Bush and his gang, like Ringo and the Clantons, ride into town with a view to a kill. Dressed as Doc Holliday and the Earps, crazy, unpatriotic bigots walk out to meet the Bushmen. The leader of the hacks assumes the role of crooked Sheriff John Beehan. Dirty Money shows up as a crowd of drunken saloon whores come to watch the fight and reward the victors. Off camera, a lonely trumpet plays Deguelo. Somebody somewhere cracks a pecan. Sixguns blaze and roar. Men drop dead.

Given the nature of everyone involved, history might record that fight as "The Shootout at the Not OK Corral." If it happens, I won't cry no matter who gets hurt or how badly. You shouldn't, either. They're all a lot of scum.